20 Things That Changed My Life

A random list of things that made an impact on me in 2025

I’ve been messing around with the idea of writing for the past 9 months or so. I knew I wanted to put something together and publish it for my friends and family, but I had no idea what I wanted it to look like — originally I was thinking about writing movie reviews, then that shifted to book reviews, which eventually turned into a Russian history newsletter, and finally I thought I could put out a combination of all three…but I was too much of a perfectionist and never shared any of my writing. But today that all changes! So here I am, on Fri, Jan 9, 2026, finally publishing something and just going to “let it rip” (as one of my coworkers loves to say whenever I second guess sending an email).

For my first piece, and since I have no idea the direction this substack will go in (my only goal is writing it), I wanted to include a list of 20 things that changed my life in 2025 (in literally no order at all which will be extremely clear to you once you start reading).

1. Gramercy EM Weekly. If you know me, you know I am a geopolitics fan (fanatic maybe). The sad news is, most of the hyper-specific emerging markets news is all paywalled (and it’s not like $2 a week, it’s like $149 / mo…maybe one day…). I was reading what I could via free sources / things I already paid for, but I could never find anything that in depth. And then paywalled sources would always only show the first two paragraphs of an article being like “Venezuela is a country in South America, with a population of ~30.0 million people. Yesterday, a vote was blocked and everyone was forced to…please subscribe to see more.” Somehow the paywall was always giving you basic information and then leaving you on the most monumental of cliffhangers. But then, I discovered this FREE briefing from Gramercy Funds Management, an EM alternatives fund manager (literally IYKYK. If you are even slightly into EM you have probably seen them mentioned…I feel like their CIO is always being quoted in WSJ articles.) that goes through events in EVERY EM country and their opinion on how it will affect the market. So helpful, completely changed my life. I hope they don’t paywall it anytime soon.

2. Being the MOH in my sister’s wedding. Before I was involved in a wedding, I kind of was of the opinion that it was “just a party” (whether I authentically felt that way or was forced to feel embarrassed about being a girl who wants to think about her wedding I don’t know, but I do know that people love to say this in a condescending way especially to women, although that is another topic for another time). However, something I took away from my sister’s wedding was not only how fun it was, but also how intimate getting married is. I for sure thought I wasn’t going to cry, but I literally was on the verge of tears all day (thank god they gave me false eyelashes). There is something so special about it — from getting ready together, to seeing the venue, everyone being there to celebrate love…the list goes on. I was so happy for my sister because she was beautiful and so loved (by me, our parents, her husband, her friends). But what really got me emotional was realizing that my sister and I were no longer going to share the same last name. I know it sounds silly, but it truly didn’t hit me until the day of. I remember sitting there and realizing that she was not going to be an Utter anymore, and that she wouldn’t introduce herself as Utter, her kids would not be Utters. If I was a better writer, I would be able to put the feeling into words, but I just can’t. Names are more important than we let on. Once you feel it, you remember the feeling for the rest of your life.

3. Moving to a Studio. This summer, I moved in alone, which was exciting, but also terrifying. I am a social creature; I love dinner parties, I love being around people, I love sharing my life with others. I was nervous about being alone all the time, especially after work when I want to discuss my day with someone over dinner. But I quickly learned that there is something special about eating alone, reviewing your day by yourself, and sitting in silence. I often eat my dinner by candlelight (which I know is so Nosferatu core of me). This practice has helped me to regulate my emotions and decompress from the day rather than ruminating on things that annoyed me or upset me…and watching a candle melt has to be in some woo-woo guide to relax because genuinely it is the most calming thing in the world. Need Gwyneth’s opinion on this ASAP.

   

   not my apartment obv but love this whimsical candle holder. yes I took this photo at a work drinks with multiple external people.

4. “Between Dog and Wolf” by Sasha Sokolov. I found this book in the cutest, quaintest book store in Krakow called Masolit Cafe & Books (would definitely recommend if you are ever in Krakow). This book was published in 1980 and is a coming-of-age story about two girls during the last few years of the Soviet Union. The childhood and adolescence described in the book mirrors the instability of the country in which the girls lived, but the story also serves as a reminder that childhood and adolescence is hard no matter where you are. That is why the title is so special to me. The phrase “between dog and wolf” is a translation of the French idiom “Entre Chien et Loup” which is used to describe twilight hours, when the light is dim in the sky and you can’t make out figures and shapes that were once familiar to you — a transition period. if you are not at all interested in learning about the USSR (couldn’t be me), I would still recommend reading this one. I truly, deeply loved this book and feel so lucky that I found it.

   

   not my photo but this is the book store. obsessed

5. Flowers. My lovely boyfriend brings me flowers almost every time he comes to my apartment. How lucky am I? Not only is the gesture so sweet, but I also just love looking at flowers every day. I have three vases, none of which I have purchased myself — my two best friends gifted me a gorgeous vase for my birthday, one my boyfriend gave me with flowers for valentines last year, and the last one I found in a “FREE” box on the side of the road in the West Village! I love them all. Keeping my apartment flowered has been a lovely activity that really brightens up the space.

6. Not taking everything so seriously. This is something I embraced at the end of 2025 and am definitely working on in 2026. My goal is to only get stressed about one thing per day. Before, I was averaging like, 20 things that would make me not only stressed but also overwhelmed to the point of tears. What can I say, I’m a perfectionist (that is one word for it)…anyway, I think towards the end of 2025, I realized that things aren’t that deep. Mistakes happen. You will learn from mistakes. Got to keep moving. Cheers to more mistakes and more learning in 2026. Don’t sweat the small stuff — it’s all small stuff!!

   

   obviously my parents have this book

7. Ian Andersen. If you haven’t heard of Ian Andersen yet, are you living under a rock?? Ian quickly made his way to the top of my list of favorite influencers — every time he posts I smile so wide. Ian is currently biking from Portugal to Japan. This is an amazing feat that takes a lot of talent and grit, but through it all, Ian is extremely normal. His outlook on life is infectious. I follow him on instagram and subscribe to him on substack. His reasoning for taking on such an extreme challenge is truly admirable — but you should hear it in his words, not mine!

8. My Nephew. In 2025, I became an AUNT!!! Which has been such a joy. My nephew is 3 months old and growing every day. He is the CUTEST baby in the world!!!! And I love him so much. I am so excited for the future when I can read to him, speak Russian to him (don’t worry I already did), and hang out with him (right now he just chills as 3 month olds do). Becoming an aunt has made me feel so adult and like I need to be a good influence on my nephew — my goal is to be the cool aunt who does cool stuff, has a cool job, and travels a lot! Watching my brother and his wife become parents is also such a novel experience — what do you mean these fun 32 year olds are caring for a CHILD? All jokes aside, they are great parents and their son will be so smart and awesome; I am so excited to watch him grow up. It really makes you see your siblings in a different light. It is such a fun feeling that again, I just can’t explain. If you know, you know.

9. Sofie Pavitt Face. As someone with chronically dry skin (literally so dry it hurts in winter), the Sofie Pavitt face omega rich moisturizer has been a GODSEND. Not much more to say than that. I literally don’t know how I lived without it (very dryly clearly). Would recommend to anyone who has dry skin. A little goes a long way, but I need her to make it in a huge tub version so I don’t keep running out! On my fourth already (!!)

   

   Seriously can’t live without it. Worth every penny

10. One long run once a week. Once a week, I run for a bit over an hour and a half (sometimes 1 hour 40, sometimes an hour 50, sometimes 2 hours, but 1.5hr is my minimum). This has helped me in so many ways — three of the benefits include: a) having an hour and a half off my phone on Saturday mornings, b) getting more fit, and c) getting in the habit of long runs before I start training for the marathon. I have always been an athlete, but running long always daunted me. I would run ~3-5 miles but would stop out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to do any more (up until 2024 and then 2025 when I ran my first half marathon). But now that I run so regularly, I can’t stop, and I get why people do ultras and all of those crazy running competitions. I am also fully under the impression that anyone can do it! Just go slow and set a timer, don’t look at your pace, and just START RUNNING! It is simply that easy. I am so lucky to have so much time to spare on Saturday mornings but this is a practice I ideally want to keep in my life for a looooong time. I’m currently writing this on Friday afternoon and I am so excited to run tomorrow morning — it is the only thing that is motivating me to do my laundry so all of my favorite socks are available for tomorrow :). Get out there and RUN! It will change you.

11. Sam Edelman Heels. The Bianka slingback pump heels changed my going out life. The cutest heels for any occasion and also SO comfortable literally doesn’t even feel like I am wearing heels — . I have them in multiple colors and wear them year round. Stop buying uncomfortable heels 2026 !!

12. Sweet Hummus. In early 2025, I saw a recipe for chocolate chip cookie dough style hummus, but due to my lack of a food processor for the first half of the year, I could only dream about this sweet treat. I have been a fan of sweet hummus for years, specifically since the chocolate hummus craze of 2022 (rip to the trader joes chocolate hummus, I pray for your return every night). So this recipe obviously caught my attention. Luckily I came into wealth in July (aka my mom gave me her old food processor for my new apartment) so I make this non-stop. It is a tad unconventional I will admit…but so so so good. Give it a try please. PLEASE I beg (even my friends and boyfriend who think I’m slightly woo woo about food gave it their seal of approval). Sweet hummus is the future and I will not stop talking about it.

13. Theragun. The theragun is one of the best inventions of the 21st century. For a large portion of the year, I was using my boyfriend’s theragun every time I went over, and then he surprised me with one for Christmas!! Unconventionally, I recommend using the theragun on the bottom of your feet. Best. Feeling. Ever. As someone who gets restless leg syndrome before bed, the theragun has been a game changer.

14. Baking things from scratch. In 2025, I became quite the chef and baker, if I do say so myself. Baking is what I consider a fun mental challenge that takes me back to my biochemistry days. Making sure the ratio of baking powder to egg to flour is JUST right to get the right texture and consistency — and experimenting when you see fit — is so much fun. I like to sneak protein into my baked goods, whether it be through silken tofu substitution, cottage cheese additions, or greek yogurt recipes. As you could imagine, the lows are low and the highs are high with these methods. I just made great blueberry protein muffins from scratch using cottage cheese and egg whites to increase the protein content! Can’t wait to be the mom who adds zucchini into the brownies for dessert.

15. Not drinking every weekend. In 2025, I severely cut down on my drinking. Working in an office 5 days a week made me realize that I don’t want to be hungover for the two days I’m off of work. As a result, I feel — no exaggeration — 1000x better. Less anxiety, less brain fog, more time for activities. I definitely will still have a drink (or two) when the time is right, but I don’t revolve my weekends around drinking like I did in college / right out of college. This definitely changed my life for the better because now my Saturdays and Sundays involve much more movement and outside time than they did before!

16. The Aritzia Fleece. I was lucky enough to buy the Aritzia quarterzip fleece before it sold out in person and online, and let me just say, I have worn it probably every day since I bought it. I am big on tracking dollar / wear for a lot of my clothing items, and this is probably one of my lowest. I bought it for $110 I think and I genuinely would imagine $ / wear is sitting around $0.50. If you can get your hands on this fleece I would definitely recommend — chic-er than a sweatshirt but less formal than a sweater. Perfect!

17. Lululemon running gloves. Best purchase of 2025, hands down. I was on the fence about these gloves and was honestly having a bit of sticker shock. But luckily my friend who I was shopping with encouraged me to buy them, and boy, am I glad I did. Winter runs have become my favorite after buying these gloves (and because you can go at any time of day and the temperature is more or less the same)! It really is true that if your hands are warm you will feel warm. Lululemon has the best running gear hands down. (I can’t find my exact gloves on the website, but mine turn into mittens too)

18. Sweet Potatoes. 2025 was sweet potatoes’ year. Maybe my algorithm is just super sweet potato forward, but I feel like everywhere I looked, I saw a recipe involving sweet potatoes. And for good reason! Sweet potatoes are versatile, tasty, and filling. I normally start my week by buying 6 sweet potatoes of different varieties and using them for dinner each night. I will say, they taste much better after baking for an hour, but I understand the allure of cooking them in an air fryer or microwave for speed purposes. However, if you can, I would recommend baking them, adding a bit of ground turkey, feta, and salted butter, and calling it a day. No frills! My next sweet potato recipe is a bit of a step up — I found it on Carina Wolff’s substack. As someone who loves beans and sweet potatoes this recipe was calling my name!

19. Not being AS blonde. This one is heartbreaking for me to admit, but letting my hair go back to its natural reddish / dark blonde color has been a game changer. I used to be as blonde as could be — literally white blonde. I loved it, and still love it, but the upkeep was simply too hard. I wish I was a girl who could make it to the salon once every two weeks, but I am not unfortunately and probably never will be. It was time I let go. Now that being said, my hair is not NOT blonde — it still definitely reads as blonde. But, it is darker, and I feel more confident after 2 / 3 months (whereas before I would notice my roots so much)!!! I also recently did a red glaze, which I am obsessed with, but I am considering going back to more of a one-tone blonde color…(I’ll never (fully) let go jack)

    

    my hair as of late

20. Seeing a play in Polish. When my boyfriend and I were in Poland, I knew we had to stop to see a play. My favorite class of all time in college was a polish drama class, where we read and watched plays and analyzed them. I remember interviewing for a biotech job and they asked me what my favorite class was, and instead of saying biochemical methods or intro to prion diseases, obviously I said Polish Drama. Are you surprised I didn’t get the job? Anyway, while we were in Krakow, we stopped into the Juliusz Słowacki Theatre. I wanted to see Forefather’s Eve (which is a classic Polish play), but they were not showing any English subtitles with it. We ended up seeing the only play that had English subtitles. Well, it was an experience. I can’t even begin to explain the plot, even in polish it is confusing and meta about a woman who meets her younger self while she is on her death bed, but to confuse us even more, the subtitles broke halfway through.But it was a great experience and makes a great story. We asked another guest after the show — what was that play about? To which they responded, “I didn’t even get it and Polish is my first language.” What a time.

if you made it this far, THANKS! Let me know if you like the list structure, I had fun with it.

Some honorable mentions that didn’t make the list include: goodles, the poems on the subway, candles, magnesium, knitting, Lolita, dyson cordless vaccum, amika leave-in hair mask.